Sharing the world’s greatest gift

THORP, Wis. — Fertility is a common thread of discussion on a dairy farm, but when it becomes an issue in the home, rather than in the barn, it takes on a new dimension — one that can make most others pale in comparison.

Brandon and Meredith Maier were facing issues starting their family together. Eventually they found the answer to their prayers in the form of surrogacy, welcoming their children Briggs and Capri.

“We went through years of dealing with and just going through the ups and downs that go with infertility,” Meredith said. “We had talked about adoption, fostering, all the avenues to have our own child.”

The Maiers milk 110 cows on their Clark County dairy farm near Thorp.

After searching their own souls for the best solution for nearly eight years, one day Meredith’s oldest brother and sister-in-law offered an avenue the Maiers previously had not considered in great depth: surrogacy.

“We were somewhat familiar with it,” Meredith said. “Being it was family, we decided to try it. They had two older children and had decided they were done with their family and wanted to help us.”

Armed with a vague knowledge of the process, the Maiers began learning more about the concept. A deluge of phone calls followed, working out logistics and learning the steps both couples would need to go through.

One of the first steps was setting up legal parameters.

“We had to hire a lawyer for us and for them, just to protect everyone,” Brandon said. “It creates a massive paper trail. Every little thing, every little question was worked out by the lawyers on both sides.”

Decisions needed to be made for every step, from where to have the procedures done to care throughout the pregnancy and delivery. While the Maiers farm in central Wisconsin, Meredith’s brother and sister-in-law have a beef farm in South Dakota.

“There’s a little distance there, but we landed on a clinic in Woodbury, Minnesota,” Meredith said. “One thing that stuck with us, after our first consultation, was how similar the whole concept was to flushing cows — it really wasn’t that hard for us to understand the whole process because we had done it with the cows. Our doctor told us we were ahead of the game because we were familiar with it.”

Before they could begin their journey towards parenthood in earnest, the two couples had to gain medical approval.

“There was a ton of testing done: blood testing, mental and psychiatric testing, physical testing, everything you can imagine,” Brandon said.

Meredith began her portion of the process in mid-2018, undergoing a series of shots to prepare for the collection procedure in October.

“They collected 31 eggs, and they grade them similar to how we grade eggs produced by a cow,” Meredith said. “We ended up with 12 that they considered perfect.”

Once Meredith had completed her portion, the Maiers’ sister-in-law began the process of being readied to receive an embryo transfer, which took place in January 2019.

The Maiers’ sister-in-law underwent several transfers before a pregnancy was confirmed, and their son, Briggs, was born in October 2019.

After discussing it with their sister-in-law, the Maiers opted to transfer one embryo at a time.

“It was her body, so we wanted it to be her choice,” Meredith said. “We didn’t want to take the extra risk that comes, for both mother and babies, with multiples.”

“It was very hard, painstaking, waiting to find out if the procedure worked,” Meredith said. “They told my sister-in-law not to take a drugstore pregnancy test, to wait for the blood tests. She told us she could already feel symptoms. She told us if it was anything like her own kids, it had stuck.”

Once the pregnancy was confirmed and she was released from the fertility clinic’s close watch, their sister-in-law continued her prenatal care in her hometown with her own doctors. Both Briggs and Capri were born in South Dakota, with the Maiers arranging time away from their farm to be present when the children were born.

When their sister-in-law offered her womb a second time, it was an easy decision for the Maiers to try for another baby.

“We talked about it, because it’s expensive — but we also had so much of the expense out of the way,” Meredith said. “We decided that since she was offering, we should take advantage of the gift, because you never knew if you’d get the opportunity again.”

Their daughter, Capri, made her entrance into the world in 2022. One pregnancy was lost, at six weeks, between the birth of their two children. The Maiers said they feared at first that would be the end of their journey.

“That was hard, very emotional, facing that loss, even though you know things happen for a reason, that only God knows or understands,” Meredith said. “That one just didn’t seem to go as well from the start. Something seemed off from the beginning. You just get that gut feeling.”

The Maiers left it up to their sister-in-law about a third attempt, but were grateful when she said she wanted to try again.

The Maiers paid the full cost out of pocket, as the procedures required are not covered by insurance.

“We were able to make it work, with the farm,” Brandon said. “If we didn’t have that equity, those assets, I’m not sure how anyone could afford to do it. We culled cows, sold equipment and took out loans to cover other things, but you can’t take out loans for this. You hear about other people cashing in their 401Ks, selling their houses or racking up credit card bills to pay for it.”

Meredith said they have been able to find lighthearted moments in the midst of the difficult process.

“We joked with our sister-in-law, telling her she was a good recip,” Meredith said. “If you can’t have a sense of humor about the ups and downs of life, it’s going to be pretty rough. Surrogates are heroes, really and truly. It’s such a huge thing to do for another person, to undergo all that and give the baby to the parents, in the end. We hope by sharing our story, we can help someone find a way to create their own family.”