Merritt’s mayhem

My dad would probably tell you his favorite cows are the ones you don’t really notice. They are problem-free milkers, breed and calve easily and go where you need them to go without any effort.

He will also quickly tell you who his least favorite ones are. They usually get on that list because they are constantly climbing in the feed bunk, escaping the moment a gate opens or routinely putting themselves in places that make his job harder.

Merritt was Hayes’s 4-H calf from last year, and she is quickly finding herself at the top of a few people’s least favorite lists.

As a winter-aged calf last summer, Merritt was easy to break and train. She was friendly from the moment she was born, pacing circles in her pen when she saw someone coming to greet her. Today, she still rushes to the gate, fast and furious with crazy wide eyes, moving any animal who may be in her way. My siblings and I joke that she has FOMO, or fear of missing out. She may also have some separation anxiety issues.

I’m not sure why she’s like this. Her dam is friendly but docile, and her granddam was one of those cows you didn’t even notice was around. Genetically, we couldn’t have predicted this.

It’s fun for my boys to have her always excited to see them, but at 14 months old now, her exuberant personality doesn’t fit well with her growing body size. She has always been a stage-five clinger who loves attention and asserts herself, but those attributes are turning out to be not-so-great for everyday farm life.

Chores that can often be done alone are not the case if Merritt is in the pen. Putting in bedding or a round bale by yourself? Don’t even attempt it. Even if there is someone to help open and guard the gate for that task, Merritt won’t make things easy. While you can chase the other heifers away from the gate to let in the tractor or skid steer, Merritt remains as close to the opening as possible, and she won’t leave you alone if you are physically in the pen with her. She demands being rubbed or scratched, which is a bit physically intimidating with her size and strength. This really aggravates my mom, who doesn’t have any patience for attention-seekers.

Sorting and moving cattle? Rethink your strategy if Merritt is involved. There is no chasing and corralling. With her, you are better off having her follow you to where you want her to go. But watch out, because she is also known to throw one heck of a side kick. I learned that the hard way when she was first tied up last summer. Dad said she threw a good one at my uncle last week when they were sorting heifers. She doesn’t do it out of spite, but that habit isn’t going to translate well once she is of milking age.

For several months, she has been across the road, where we keep heifers that are 6 to 12 months old. She’s out of sight, out of mind for the most part. However, she was recently moved back to the farm to our breeding pen, and she is already causing chaos. Not only has she been the loudest animal on the farm since her move, but she has also started pulling some Houdini tricks. While I was putting my boys to bed the other night, Dad sent me a photo that showed Merritt roaming around in the yard after dark. No open gates, so we assume she pulled an Olympic move and hurdled her way to freedom. Luckily, she just followed my dad back into the pen once he opened the gate.

I’m sure this is just the start of Merritt’s mayhem. There is still a bunk to climb in, hay feeders to tip over and unimaginable chaos that has not yet been done by any other animal. Stay tuned for more episodes of Merritt’s mayhem.

Jill is a stay-at-home mom who helps part time on her family’s 140-cow dairy farm near Forest City, Minnesota. She and her husband, Aaron, have two children: Hayes and Nash.