Cultivating more than crops

MONROE, Wis. — Mental health in rural America is a tough conversation to take on. But for one farmer, conversation is what helps connect him with his community.
“Right now, communication can be so lacking,” Josh Steiner said. “Even if someone isn’t struggling with their mental health, if I’m in a good mood and stop and talk to someone, it could help lift their mood and be a domino effect.”
Josh Steiner farms with his wife, Liz, just south of Monroe. The Steiners milk 75 cows in a tiestall barn. The herd average is 27,000 pounds of milk, with a 3.8% butterfat test and a 3.0% protein test. The idea of connecting with communication was not always as prevalent in Steiner’s mind, as it took his own tragedy to start identifying the need for more open communication.
“We named our farm Heaven View Dairy after we lost a child in the womb,” Steiner said. “Liz was pregnant with twins, and we had what was called twin-to-twin transfusion syndrome. Essentially, we were told that only one could survive.”
The condition is a rare one in which identical twins share one placenta and a network of blood vessels that supply oxygen and nutrients essential for development in the womb. TTTS affects approximately 10%-15% of pregnancies with identical twins.
“Those were some of the hardest days of my life,” Steiner said. “At the time, I felt like I had to be on the farm to support everyone, so I put that mental fence up and didn’t let anyone in. Now I can talk about it. I try to be a lot more helpful, because if you don’t let people in, it can make you ornery. It took me a little bit to figure that out.”
Steiner carries those lessons with him now, trying to build up his community with old-school communication.
“When we started farming 29 years ago, there were a lot of older farmers who would stop and lean against the fence post and talk,” Steiner said. When we lost our child, neighbors stopped in and asked if we needed help with milking, feeding, or anything else and to just let them know if we did.
Steiner, a first-generation farmer, is using his own experiences and the same gesture to check in with his neighbors often.
“I think it’s important to bring back that old-school farmer communication,” Steiner said. “If you aren’t the one stopping in, it becomes easier and easier to shrug your shoulders and think someone else will do it, or (think) I’ll stop in tomorrow. But there comes a point where there isn’t another tomorrow.”
That story was true for a neighboring farmer who was diagnosed with cancer. Normally a social person, he became bedridden.
“We’d stop in and see him when he couldn’t get out anymore,” Steiner said. “It was important for him, but it was also important for his family. Seeing him helped raise his spirits and his family’s spirits, so stopping and having those face-to-face conversations can benefit more than just one person.”
Steiner has found other outlets to continue to foster community, sometimes connecting with people around the world on social media. Steiner uses TikTok to spread positivity and realism for others in the dairy industry.
“Social media can be a force for positivity,” Steiner said. “It can show people that they’re in the same situation. If you post about having a tough day, it can show those other farmers that it happens to everyone. When you have bad days, you aren’t alone in that.”
Along with social media, technology makes communication easier today than in the past. Communicating with others about the highs and lows of the day can continue to build the strength of the community, Steiner said
“Don’t be afraid to stop in or make a call,” he said. “It never hurts to stop in and talk with someone. Even if you’re just driving by, give them a call. Some people have Bluetooth in their tractors, and they can talk to you while they’re working, or turn around and talk to them in person. It’s important to be there for one another.”
Digital communication is a way to help foster that community, but Steiner notes that nothing can replace a face-to-face conversation.
“I think it’s still very important to stop in and check on people, especially your neighbors,” Steiner said. “Sending a text is good too, but nothing can replace the actual in-person conversation.”
Another key aspect Steiner focuses on is what he has coined “de-stressetizing.”
“You have to find your outlet and make it a priority,” Steiner said. “Farming is stressful, so you need to do what you have to do to clear it out. Go to a park and have an ice cream cone, take your wife or girlfriend out on the town, or meet up with some buddies. I think the best way to do that is through communicating.”
Communicating with someone who is struggling can have hoops of its own to jump through, Steiner said.
“If you’re trying to talk to someone who has put that wall up, you should still offer,” Steiner said. “It’s important to be there for them, (and give them) whatever they might need. That can be tougher if you’re suggesting something you know they don’t want to hear, but it’s important for them to hear an outside perspective, especially if they’re going down a destructive road.”